𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐃𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬?

Growing up, there were days assigned for feelings.

Yom Kippur was the Day of Judgment—a serious day where we were expected to feel solemn. We would pray and beg God for a good year.

Purim was a joyful day when we were supposed to feel happy and be merry.

Passover was the day of freedom. We would celebrate the miracle of God splitting the sea and Moses leading us into the desert.

Sukkot was another joyful holiday. We would sit in huts and were expected to be happy.

Then came Tisha B’Av, a day to mourn the destruction of the Temple. From sundown to sundown the following day, we would commemorate the destruction of the Second Temple through fasting and prayer. Before the fast began, we would dip eggs in ashes, then start the fast with a special prayer. We would act as if we were in mourning—sitting on low chairs until noon, not changing our clothes, reading sad books, and watching somber videos.

But this isn’t unique to one tradition. Every religion has its assigned emotional days—days for mourning, celebration, reflection, and joy. Even secular calendars are filled with them: birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, awareness months, and national observances.

We’re not saying you 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 feel a certain way on those days. We’re saying: allow your body to feel what it 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒔 to feel on that day.

Because who decides how one 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 feel?

If you are someone who wishes to fast, we respect that. But teaching children how they should feel—assigning them emotions based on the calendar—is harmful.

Because, at the end of the day, they won’t know how to manage their emotions on their own.

One needs to rely on their own intuition and give themselves permission to accept their feelings.

Your feelings are your own. No one should control the emotional outcome of your day.

Feelings are a big part of who you are. They make up your essence.

And when we talk about feelings, we’re also talking about mental health.

Emotions are crucial—they are communicators. They are your body’s way of telling you what it needs.

When a child is told over and over again how they 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 feel, they begin to believe that their internal signals can’t be trusted. That their emotions are wrong. That they are wrong.

And that can follow them for years.

If you tell a young person, who is still learning how to navigate emotions, how they’re supposed to feel, you are teaching them that their pain doesn’t matter. That their joy must be hidden. That they can’t trust themselves. That they don’t have a voice.

Over time, this can lead to anxiety, depression, emotional repression, and isolation. It teaches people to perform instead of process. To hide instead of heal.

And when someone doesn’t know what they’re feeling, they can’t ask for help.

And if a person doesn’t ask for help in a critical moment, the result can be devastating.

These aren’t just emotional truths—they’re mental health realities. Suppressing emotion can lead to a path full of toxicity, abuse, and self-destruction. In the worst cases, it can lead someone to believe that they have no way out. That ending their life is the only option.

That is why it is so important—so important—to let people feel. To let them reach out for help.

Even if no one is explicitly forcing emotions onto others, assigning days to feel a certain way still conditions people—especially children—on how to feel and how to act.

If you’re a parent, a teacher, a friend, someone in a child’s life—or if you’re struggling yourself—please hear this:

Allow yourself or others to feel 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒚.

You do not need permission to be sad on a happy day. Or to laugh on a heavy one.

You control your own life. Please, give yourself the space to feel—whatever that may look like.

If you're struggling today—or any day—please reach out for help. You are not alone.

Your emotions are valid. Your mental health matters.

We are here for you, and we truly care.

𝙎𝒊𝙣𝒄𝙚𝒓𝙚𝒍𝙮,

𝑺𝙝𝒂𝙣𝒆 𝒂𝙣𝒅 𝑱𝙤𝒐𝙙 𝙇𝒂𝙣𝒏𝙚𝒕𝙩𝒆